Category: Trials

 

Recent events in life have propelled me to reflect on life and its many lessons. Occasionally, there is a need to remind myself of how precious life is. The need to cherish loved ones. Reach across the divide. To mend hearts. Homes. Lives. Again, writing is therapeutic for me. I write about things I struggle with. General observations. Experiences. And one day when I am brave enough, my “gethsemanes” .Writing provides perspective. Tutors me. Reminds me of my limitations. The need for change. And everyday learning.

Today’s post is about trials. Yep. Problems. Affliction. Adversity. Burden. Stumbling blocks. Add your own soubriquet. Question: what would we do differently if we got a “do over”? Would we avoid some friendships? Relationships? Job choices? Lifestyle? You name it. I wonder. Don’t you? But there is no “do over” is there? Nope. Just one chance. You will never see today’s date again. Think about it. Recently, my face book status read: “Sometimes life will slap you in the face, well today it punched me”. Some days are worse than others. Tugged in different directions. Feel battered and torn. No one is immune. Or exempted. Sorry. However, how we manage the trials might be the most telling story of all. Read on. See if you agree. Or disagree.

Some trials are more arduous than others. They pierce the soul much deeper. Some come as a result of another person’s agency. Others we bring on ourselves. There is no explanation for the rest. Whatever the cause, we should never lose perspective. Even when they sap our strength. Bring us to our knees. Force us to examine our life. To grow. Ponder our choices. And the choices of others. Are we supposed to learn from them? Depends on the nature of the trial. If the trial is a result of our own imprudent behavior, it goes without saying. Wait a minute. This path looks vaguely familiar. Different circumstances. Yes. But same lesson. What do you know?

Here is an example using procrastination. My own personal struggle. Let’s say I have a paper due in a few weeks. Yet I decide to play hide and seek with the time. As it always does, father time comes calling. The paper is due. Without fail, everything goes wrong. Everything. And no one can help. Pleadings fall on deaf ears. Here is one trial I could have avoided. Right? So I barely made the deadline. Am I still procrastinating? YES! Did I learn my lesson? Yes. No. Maybe. But I should. Until the next crisis that is.The point is, if the trail results from our own shortcomings. If everything is coming coming at us. We are doing something wrong. Time for a reality self check. Perhaps, there is no need to learn the same lessons over and over again.

If we are not learning anything from our trials, it is rather distressing. Trials should remind us of our severely limited capacities as human beings. Show us that we don’t have all the answers. Never have. Never will. They should stretch us. Mold us. Shape us. Make us better than we think we are. Perhaps another person caused the suffering. Maybe we did all we could. But we were blindsided. Careless. Lost sight of the goal. Whatever the situation. No one is perfect. People will disappoint us. Cause us grief. Pain. Worry. Stress. Anger. Sadness. Simply put, our faith in humanity will be tested. Hopefully, through it all, something good resulted. We learned a lesson. Applied it to our lives. And our future. Some trials are actually blessings in disguise. Huh! We just don’t realize it atm.

Being required to go endure multiple trials is not a reason to be bitter. Resentful. Hardhearted. Mean-spirited. Distrustful. Instead see the future for what it is. The future. It has hope. Promise. A life of its own. New beginnings. A word of caution though. When we suffer because of someone else, it seems reasonable to have trust issues. It might be difficult to open up. Building barriers appear inevitable. Defense mechanisms become appealing. But we can cope. We will. We have to. Consider the alternative. There is someone else with even greater struggles. The quadriplegic. The man or woman born blind. Deaf. Mute. Mentally retarded. The homeless. A tiny fraction of the problems you could have. But you don’t. We are truly blessed.We have more than we need. We are alive.

As I battle personal demons. Struggle through my own “Gethsemanes”. I am comforted by the fact that I am never, ever alone. Many people hold a special place in their hearts just for me. First and foremost: “The most powerful being in the universe is the father of my spirit!” Elder Utchdorf. Family. Friends. The quiet, unassuming ones in my corner. Rallying around me to succeed. To give it my best. My trials are my own. If I could not handle them, someone else would have them. Apply these same words to you. I pray that when trials do come. And they will. You and I can find the peace we desperately seek. Whatever our trials are this moment. Remember that we can be uplifted. Supported. Comforted. To know that we can do it. We have to. Giving up is not an option. “May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy”

Until the next post..
Best,
Juan

I just returned from a ten-day vacation in Boston, which included a weekend in NY, visiting family. There was one drawback. I did not get to see the friends I was hoping to see. I was sorely disappointed! In the weeks leading up to my departure, I found myself reliving my teenage years all over again. My gal pals and I were hanging out during lunch period. Talking. Laughing. Planning the next big social adventure. Yes, I was ready for the long-awaited mini-reunion. Reality inevitably returned. I learned one thing. People grow up. And grow apart. Ideals change. People are busy. Maybe 48 hours in the Big Apple was not enough time. Enough of the excuses. Some things are just not meant to be.

I celebrated my birthday during my trip. It was wonderful. Amazing. The English would call it brilliant. Fantastic. Emotional in more ways than one. One day I will find the strength and courage to explain why. I awoke to find some pretty neat gifts waiting for me downstairs, one of which was the entire series of Seinfeld~ my all-time favorite television show. The day was topped off with dinner with my father at Legal Seafood, followed by birthday cheers and cake at home with the family. This birthday is one I will never forget for as long as I live. I am eternally grateful for my family in Boston, who made it the truly remarkable day it was. I love you all.

Today’s blog is not a travel log of any sort. Coincidentally, as I struggled with choosing a proper theme, I was gently reminded it was Easter. The christian world is celebrating the resurrection of the Savior. It’s fitting to pen something along these lines. Christians view Good Friday as the darkest day in the world. Sometimes in life, every day is a “Friday”. We know that the Savior was resurrected on a Sunday. He triumphed over death. Sunday eventually came. For many of us, our “Sundays” are on the horizon. Maybe you’ve had more than a few.For others, it is Sunday somewhere.

Let me revisit a personal “Sunday” experience. At the tender age of 16, I graduated high school. However, there was no money for college. I had to find work. I faced many “Fridays”, as I realized that dreams of a college education were getting further and further away. Many moons later, as a working adult, I returned to school full-time. My “Sunday” would eventually come. I graduated Summa Cum Laude with a degree in Psychology. I love learning. I also knew that in a matter of years, a BSc degree will be looked on in the same way as a HSD. I yearned for more. Moreover, I wanted to study abroad. Many shook their heads at the thought. I was the recipient of many thoughtless remarks. Others rallied around me in support. I never lost sight of my dream. The Lord placed many people along my path to help me. Yet another “Sunday” came when this dream was realized. In 4 years I would complete two degrees. I share this accomplishment for one reason only. To reinforce that whatever you want in life, you can have it. You are the only person standing in your way. Tony Robbins said it this way “If you do what you’ve always done. You will get what you’ve always gotten” My “Sunday” came. Yours will too. You and I have many more Sundays to look forward to. We have to want it bad enough.

Perhaps, you have had many “Sundays”. Unfortunately, they slid quietly by. Or did they? They came in the form of small achievements. You left a dead-end job. Finally took a vacation. A troubled family member took a step in the right direction. You bought your first car. Got out of a toxic relationship. The journey took forever. However, your “Sunday” finally came. Sometimes, it is much easier to focus on the “Fridays” in our lives. Why? Because “Sunday” seem so far away.

No one is exempt from experiencing “Fridays”. Our character will be tested. The next challenge is already waiting. Sometimes we give up. Lose hope. Perhaps your most immediate “Friday” experience involve problems which seem insurmountable .You struggle each day with decisions you should make. Returning to school. Starting a business. Staying afloat financially. Pursuing a childhood dream. One that has lain dormant for years. You’re a master of excuses as to why it’s not the right time. Remember, they are your dreams. Not your parents.Siblings.Friends.Coworkers.No one. Yours. Moving to a different state or neighborhood. Getting out of a dead-end relationship. Doing what makes you happy for a change. When will your “Sunday” come? When will you make it happen?

Maybe today will be the day we start working toward our “Sundays”. Accept “Fridays” for what they are. Family will let us down. Friends will stop caring. People will walk in and out of our lives. We will experience some of the darkest days yet. Illness and death will affect us. Finances will be meager. Fear will often consume us. You name it. We are not immune to trials. Nevertheless, “Sunday” will come. Relationships will be rebuilt. Illnesses will be cured. We will find joy in each new day. Each of us will have our own, personal, rewarding “Sundays”. Here’s hoping that we get through the “Fridays”, so that we can enjoy the “Sundays” that will certainly come. We deserve it.

Here is one of my original poems. Enjoy!

HE KNOWS, HE IS THERE

When it seems as if no one cares. He knows, He is there.
All you have is wing and a prayer? He knows, He is there.
Had the worst day of your life? He knows, He is there.
When the home is filled with anger and strife. He knows, He is there.

A child has gone down the wrong path. He knows, He is there.
A light banter was taken to heart. He knows, He is there.
You want to give up and throw the towel in. He knows, He is there.
Feel beaten, blown about by the whirlwind? He Knows, He is there.

It’s hard to look for the blessings. He knows, He is there.
You have too many irons going. He knows, He is there.
No one even tries to understand. He knows, He is there.
The days when you are an army of one. He knows, He is there.

You almost lost your job today. He knows, He is there.
You may have to find some other way. He knows, He is there.
It’s an effort to get up in the morning. He knows, He is there.
When will things start changing? He knows, He is there.

The long-waited goal? It didn’t work out! He knows, He is there.
You’ve been forced to walk away, find another way out. He knows, He is there.
You need to formulate a new game plan, He knows, He is there.
At times like these, it’s hard to trust anyone, He knows, He is there.

A lifelong friend has let you down? He knows, He is there.
How do you move on from this one? He knows, He is there.
The days when it’s easier to quit. He knows, He is there.
He’s aware of everything, every bit and He knows, He is there

Juan Williams (2009)

Best!