Category: Once Upon a Line

Show Me The Money!

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Where is Your Money Going?
At the end of each month, do you find yourself wondering where all your hard-earned money went? Discovering your financial drains will enable your money to work for you. Funding savings, debt repayment, or other things that are important to you instead of just disappearing into nothingness. A little detective work might be necessary, to figure out where your money is going. The best way to get a handle on your finances is to get everything accounted for, then tackle your financial goals.
How can we identify our money drains and improve our financial outlook? Consider the following tips:

  1. Calculate all income. The first thing to do is calculate all sources of income for your household. Put together a chart listing income sources and amounts for the past 30 days. This will give you an idea of how much money is coming into the household, which is the first step to determining, how much is going out.
  2. List your expenses. List all of your regular monthly expenses such as rent or house payments, car payments, credit card and loan payments, gas, food, utilities, cable, internet and others. Try to list exact numbers, or estimate if your expenses vary. This will give you a good idea of what your basic expenses are.
  3. Track every penny. Spend an entire month tracking every cent that you spend. Write down your beginning balance, and every dollar in and every dollar out. This is the key to determining where you’re losing money.
  4. Interpret the results. Compare how much money you’re bringing in, to how much you’re spending every month on bills, and other expenses. Are you spending beyond your means? Are you allocating money for savings, investments, and retirement?
  • If you have money drains, determine what they are. Are you spending $4.00 on an iced latte Monday through Friday? Is your dining out expenses much higher than you expected? Are you eating from vending machines or expensive fast-food joints at lunch, rather than brown-bagging it?
    5. Put this information to good use. Armed with your written guide (below) to your income and expenses, you can control your finances more effectively. Once you have this information laid out in front of you, it will allow you to fine-tune your finances little by little, until you’re putting more money into savings and less into “money drains” from month to month.
  • Determine ways to reduce these money drains. Can you brew coffee at home to save money every week? Can you cook at home to save money on eating out? A few dollars saved every month in different areas of your budget can definitely add up to your benefit.

Once you determine how much money you have coming in and going out, start directing your money toward what’s really important. Trim down your expenses or find ways to increase your income. Do not spend beyond your means. Your financial future will shine much brighter when you prepare for the future you desire. Use this free Budgeting-A-New-You-Workbook to help you get started!

Next week, look out for simple ways to take back more of your time.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

Breakfast to Bed

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The number one New Year’s resolution?! It’s no secret: lose weight and get in shape. Many diets over the years have promised weight loss and general improvements in body composition. How many of them actually work – and at what cost? The idea behind most diets is to maintain what’s called a caloric deficit. A caloric deficit is eating fewer total calories per day than your body requires in order to function normally.
Most people require around 2,000 calories daily in order to maintain weight. A traditional diet asks you to calorically restrict your intake by 20%, which works out to about 1,600 calories daily. This type of diet only focuses on calories, rather than the macronutrients each food provides. Of course, this method will work for many people, but you’ll be challenged when you run into a plateau in your weight loss. For years, people have been experimenting with the use of high-fat diets, and the potential benefits they can provide to weight loss – and fat loss.
Shortly after my return from Europe to the US almost two and a half years ago, the weight gain slowly inched upwards! One day, I weighed in forty pounds heavier. YES. Luckily for me, my height hides a multitude of sins. There was no one in my closet, sewing my clothes tighter every night. I did not indulge in fast food often and tried to visit the gym several times per week. Still, the weight kept coming. Tired of it all, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I never followed diet fads; they exist for one reason.
My search led me to Keto and intermittent fasting. I could eat my favorite foods, but in ways which allowed me to maintain a healthy weight. The result? I’ve managed to lose about thirty pounds. Menopause can be a bitch, when trying to maintain a healthy weight, and doesn’t help my cause. However, if you’re serious about giving the diet a try, there is hope and help available. Late last month, I published an ebook on Amazon about the Keto diet. It is comprehensive, precise, with all the information you need in one place. Packed with recipes, meal plans, tips to handle the “keto flu” and so much more. Use the links below to preview, buy, or share!            

How could a high-fat diet help me lose weight and more fat? It seems counter-intuitive, yet, a high-fat diet can stimulate your body into a state of ketosis – which is very effective at promoting fat loss and weight loss.
What is Ketosis? On a fundamental level, ketosis is a metabolic state. Your body can draw from various sources of energy when needed. Your body’s primary source of fuel is through glucose (from carbohydrates), but when it isn’t present the body will source other nutrients – namely, ketones. Ketosis is a metabolic state that utilizes ketones as fuel when glucose levels are very low. Eating a low-carb diet may enable you to enter ketosis, effectively burning more fat through your metabolic state.
How Do I Achieve Ketosis? Your body will enter ketosis any time you fast for a long duration. Many experts believe that runners actually enter a state of ketosis during the long run, especially if they’ve been carb-cycling. In addition to fasting and exercise, ketosis can also be entered when you’re eating very few carbohydrates – less than 15% of your daily calories, as your body will source its fuel from the fat your intake rather than the restricted form of carbohydrates.
Does Ketosis Really Help with Fat Loss? With any diet, there is always speculation and instances where it may not work. With that said, the ketogenic diet, or a low-carb diet, has been shown to be very effective in promoting weight loss and fat loss. Recent research has even shown that, along with the ability to promote fat loss and weight loss, a keto diet also decreases the level of triglycerides, LDL cholesterol, and blood glucose. It increases the level of HDL cholesterol (the “good” cholesterol). All of these effects are essential to your overall health.
Are There Any Downsides? There’s always a downside to any diet that doesn’t favor balance. We know that a high-fat diet can be very effective in promoting weight loss and total fat loss, but it may actually be dangerous for those who are diabetic or have pre-existing heart conditions.
You may also lag behind when it comes to certain types of performance. Fat is not a quick source of fuel, so some people, like powerlifters and cross-fitters, will want to keep fast-metabolizing carbohydrates in their diet in order to perform at their best.
Balance Your Keto Lifestyle. Long-term research on the keto diet hasn’t found any major negative health side effects to healthy populations. In contrast, research has even indicated that this diet does promote weight loss and benefits your internal health. Remember, however, that balance in your life is essential. It’s important to avoid thinking that just because you can eat high-fat foods that you should go around having greasy burgers all day. The purpose of the keto diet is to achieve a state of ketosis with whole foods, healthy oils, lean meats, nuts, and dark greens. There’s no doubt about it – healthy eating leads to a healthy lifestyle resulting in a healthy weight, greater vitality, and increased satisfaction in life.
Sharing my journey, providing information, and inspiration are the sole reasons for writing the book. The numbers on a scale don’t determine our value. We should not want to lose weight or change our appearance in any way, because of societal pressures, but rather for own sense of self, and in some instances improved health. I hope you found this post useful, practical, and beneficial.
Next week, I will provide timely and useful advice, along with free downloadable resources, on time and money management.

Until the next post,

Best,
Juan

 

Promises, Promises

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At this time of year, you may be considering whether you’re going to make a New Year’s resolution. Maybe you’ve made them in the past and lost interest over time. Or perhaps you buckled down and followed through. Either way, you’re now facing the beginning of another new year. Even if you’re less-than-thrilled with your follow-through in prior years, the new year brings amazing opportunities to challenge yourself in all kinds of ways. Try these ideas to help you set up your resolutions so you’ll be successful during the coming year:

Select an area of your life that’s important to you. One of the keys to choosing your New Year’s resolutions is selecting a goal that truly matters. Ideally, you can find something you want more than anything. This will help keep you dedicated.
Be specific. The whole idea of making a New Year’s resolution can seem over-simplified. You’ll hear people say, “My New Year’s resolution is to get in to shape” or “I want to work less.”
What do statements like, “I want to spend more time with my family this coming year” really mean? Here’s how to be more specific: For the resolution to get into shape, why not state it in more detail? Consider committing to specifics, such as, “I want to lose 2 inches from my waist and 3 inches from my hips.” Another example of being more exacting might be “I want to increase visual muscle definition in my abdominals and my upper arms.”
Make your resolution measurable. How will you measure your results? For example, spending more time with your family may manifest as, “I plan to work 4 hours less per week in the coming year,” or “I won’t work on Saturdays, starting January 1st.”
Structure your resolution using mini-goals. Consider cutting your overall goal into smaller, separate goals. Select the first mini-goal to accomplish in the process and designate it as your New Year’s resolution for the first 3 months.
Consider this example: You want to lose 30 pounds. You’ve struggled to drop the weight in the past. But you want to get serious now. Here’s one way to cut this into mini-goals: Lose 10 pounds in the first 3 months of the year, lose another 10 pounds in the second quarter of the year and drop the final 10 pounds in the third quarter of the year. In the fourth quarter of the year, plan to focus on maintaining your weight loss.
Be realistic. It might not be possible for you to accomplish everything you want in just one year. But you probably can be well on your way to your goal by the end of the year if your New Year’s resolution is within reasonable standards.

When selecting your New Year’s resolutions, focus on what matters to you. Be specific and make your resolutions measurable. Use mini-goals and be realistic in establishing whatever resolutions you select. By addressing your resolution as a process rather than just a goal, you’re much more likely to succeed. And when you achieve one goal, you’re more apt to set resolutions and accomplish them in the years that follow. Start this year to make each year your best one ever!

According to research, losing weight, financial and time management, traveling, and self-care, are among the top resolutions each. In the coming weeks, watch for posts on each topic with helpful resources to help make this new decade meaningful! I’ve also written another book and will share the link with you!

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

About Last Year

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Consider how many mistakes we make each year. Mistakes are inevitable, and a necessary part of our learning and evolution. Now, imagine if we could learn from them and avoid repeating them. It’s not just our mistakes, but all the things we tried that didn’t work, and the things we saw other people try that didn’t work. Fortunately for us, more than a few things did work out. All of this knowledge can be applied to this coming year. After doing this for several years, our lives would be pretty spectacular! Since you’re learning so much each year, why not put it to good use? Unfortunately, we don’t change our behaviors very much from year to year. Commit to making this year different.

Apply the lessons of the past to the future

Review the lessons this year has taught you. What did you learn, both positive and negative? What mistakes did you make? What were your biggest wins? Now, consider your family and closest friends. What challenges did they face? What were there successes? What can you learn from them? Do you see a pattern in any of your mistakes? Many of our challenges are caused by making the same mistakes year after year. How can you apply the lessons?

  • Take the best and the worst from your past and learn from them. Make use of that information to enhance your life.
  • Find alternatives to your least effective actions. Maybe you procrastinate too much or consistently show up to work late. What are the changes you want to make in the coming year?
  • Identify those behaviors that support your success. Perhaps you made your spouse feel loved and lost 25 pounds. Those are behaviors that you might want to repeat.
  • Create new habits. Choose habits that will counteract your less-effective behaviors and ensure your positive behaviors occur more frequently. Consider these examples:
    • Procrastination: Take immediate action when you know something needs to be done. Remind yourself of the pain and frustration procrastination has caused in the past, and imagine how amazing it will feel to complete the task.
    • Late to work: Place your alarm on the other side of the room so you’re forced to get out of bed. Choose your clothes the night before. Commit to leaving the house in plenty of time.
    • Spouse: Spend 15 minutes each day doing something nice for your spouse. Remind yourself of what you love about them.
    • Lose 15 lbs: Continue making healthy food choices and working out three times each week.
  • Monitor yourself. If you’re not careful, you’ll quickly slip back into your old patterns of behavior. Change is challenging, and you can expect to face a lot of internal resistance. Avoid being too hard on yourself when you slip. Just vow to redouble your efforts going forward!
  • Celebrate your successes. When you apply what you’ve learned from last year, you can expect some great things to happen. Appreciate them and be proud of yourself. This is the best way to ensure good things keep happening.
  • Reinforce behaviors by feeling good about yourself. You’ve faced some tough times in the past. Take advantage of those challenges! You’ve had some good times, too. Repeat them in the future. Your past is the key to your future. Take what you’ve learned and leverage that experience going forward. It would be a shame to repeat your mistakes in the future.

You can have the best year of your life, but not if you fail to learn from your past experiences. Your results have lessons to teach. Are you paying attention? I hope you found these suggestions most helpful and will find ways to integrate the suggestions into daily living.

Starting soon, I plan on switching things up a bit; focus on one topic each month, post more often, and provide helpful downloads, worksheets, and reports.

Until the next post, Happy New Year to you and yours!

Best,

Juan

Balkans- Conclusion

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Blessed Are The Curious- For They Will Always Have Adventures

Kotor, Montenegro: charming, idyllic, picturesque. It was absolutely wonderful to walk around the smaller, quieter, and more relaxed feel of the city. The cobbled streets, small quaint shops, and way of life resembled a storybook! I’ve got this fascination with alleyways- the town square offered more than enough. Our time there was too short. On Sunday morning before leaving for the next country, we needed food for the long, twelve-hour train journey to Serbia. I ventured out alone, into the local market. I am African American, 5 ‘10’, with a two-toned mohawk. Some locals in the smaller cities, such as the one we spent the night before, don’t have televisions and haven’t seen a person of color before. Well, let me tell you, there was quite a commotion. I left them all with lovely smiles and waves.

Serbia! The journey to the country took us through one of the most scenic rails journeys in all of Europe. A mixture of canyons, gorges, and snow-capped mountains provided a stunning backdrop. Our first stop took us to the more laid back, and second-largest city of Novi Sad, and home of the Petrovaradin Fortress. Novi Sad has the largest preserved military base in Europe, is home to the Danube River. The stunning Roman Catholic Cathedral is not to be missed. To put it bluntly, I’m quite surprised by how rude people were in Belgrade! Having come from previous countries with kind, warm-hearted people, I was taken aback. The group collectively agreed this might be the default behavior. It was interesting to hear their side of the atrocities, that took place in Bosnia, and NATO’s bombing of Serbia. Nevertheless, we made the best of it. Serbia has incredibly delicious food!

Macedonia. We spent the longest time here. First stop- Skopje. A city rich in historical culture and Ottoman heritage. There is so much to love about this country and its kind people. I knew I was going to love this city, the moment we walked up to our hotel steps, and a group of young folks greeted us with warm, wide and inviting smiles! Welcome to Skopje!! The birthplace of Mother Teresa! We toured the small chapel where she was baptized, receive her first communion, and God revealed her life’s mission. On display are some of her last writings, copy of the Nobel Peace Prize Diploma, etc. Skopje is saturated with statues! The main square boasts one of Alexander the Great, riding into the city. The street fighters, aka dogs, customarily run after bikes, mopeds, cars… anything with engines, and cause quite a ruckus. Other POI’s are the archeological museum, old train station- the hands of the clock still at time the earthquake hit.

In Northern Macedonia, we stayed in Bitola; boasts a relaxed coffee culture, that is popular in Europe. This ancient city of Heracles, named after the Greek god, Heracles, dating back to the 4th century BC. Archeologists discovered it in the 1930s. Heracles was built by the father of Alexander the Great. It was a once prosperous city; the ruins were excellent, the amphitheater, once used for gladiator fighting is impressive, and of course some amazingly preserved mosaic floors. The 1km long” BSeen” is the most famous street in Macedonia. One of the most beautiful church interiors I have ever seen is at the 170-year-old St Demetrius Church. It takes your breath away

A scenic drive through the beautiful Galicica National Park brought us to stunning Lake Ohrid-one of Europe’s deepest and oldest lakes. Saint Naum Monastery, built in the 900’s, with the original artwork still in place, is the most photographed place in Macedonia. the surrounding it took my breath away. A highlight of this visit was an afternoon boat ride on the lake; enabling visitors to soak in historical settlements reported to be some 3000 years old. The architecture is captivating, as is the culture. We roamed around the city built by Phillip the First, the Father of Alexander the Great, and the home of the Cyrillic alphabet. No visit to Lake Ohrid is complete, without the view of the sun setting over its expanse.

Kosovo. We traveled through Monrovia National Park, as we made our way to our seventh and final country, making several stops along the way. We roamed around the grounds of the thousand-year-old St John The Baptist Monastery, saw pieces of the cross, on which Jesus was crucified, a small piece of John the Baptist’s rib, and was in for a treat, as we witnessed a Muslim wedding. By the time we arrived in Kosovo, everyone was knackered. There is a huge Bill Clinton statue in the center, along with a Hillary Clinton dress shop. For some time, Bill and Hillary were popular names given to children at birth.

The US Army base is one of the largest and most well-paid employers in the country. Kosovo is the poorest of the Former Yugoslavia nations, with unemployment at over 30%. Immigration to countries such as Germany, Italy, Austria, and Switzerland remain high. Our hotel was five stars… go figure, the poorest country, offering the best accommodation on this trip. While clearing through customs, the immigration officer chatted me up, wanting to know about my experience. His parting words were “You’ll always have a home here”

I had a glorious time in the Balkans, with the exception of Serbia. The majority of the group shared the same opinion. Two months later, countless photos remind me of how blessed I am, to have had this magical adventure. For the first time, I am able to say I ate breakfast in Bosnia, had lunch in Croatia, and dinner in Montenegro. Travel is fatal to ignorance, bigotry, prejudice and narrow mindedness, sometimes it’s the journey, not the arrival that matters, and adventure is always, always worthwhile.

Enjoy your next one!

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

Foolproof Tactics For Negative Nancies In Your Life

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Photo Credit: Mark Adrianne

Recently, a sweet, dear friend reached out to me for advice; how to deal with negative people. I thought about my experiences. Humbled by the trust placed in me, I asked for a little time, to formulate my response. For years, she had dealt with negative nannies, another day or two, won’t make much difference. In my line of work and personal experiences over the years, I had my fair share of dealing with negative energy.

I am sure, you know someone like this.  Since they’re everywhere, it’s important to know how to coexist with them. Negative people can have an impact on your attitude and your day. But that doesn’t have to be the case.  There are ways to mitigate the effect negative people have on you.

Practice these strategies to avoid allowing negative people to negatively impact your life:

  • Understand that you can only control yourself, but you can influence others. You can’t snap your fingers and make the people around you take a more positive view of the world. But you can control yourself and how you choose to react to their negativity.  You might even be able to sway people over to your way of thinking a little bit. Set a good example and be a positive influence on those around you. Accept people for who they are. It’s just easier that way.

  • Be grateful. One way to maintain a positive attitude is to remind yourself of the positive. When you’re feeling run down by the negativity around you, make a quick mental list of the things in your life that you’re thankful for. It will give your mood a quick boost.

  • Remember it’s not about you. Everyone has their challenges and issues. There’s no reason to be upset that someone has a negative attitude. It likely doesn’t have anything to do with you at all. It could be circumstances in their life or their basic nature. Just keep on doing what you’re doing.

  • You have the choice to be positive or negative. You can choose to be affected or not, by the people around you. Focus on yourself and keep your chin up. Take care of your business and let others view the world however they choose.

  • Speak up. Sometimes it can be helpful to tell people to just cut it out. Many people will push until someone calls them on their behavior. Have a frank talk with someone that’s perpetually negative. Maybe they’re not aware of the impact they’re having on others.

  • Spend time with positive people. Recharge your batteries with the positive energy of other positive people. Get away from those negative people and spend time with people full of a positive attitude. It doesn’t take long to recenter yourself when you surround yourself with the right people.

  • Make the most of your time alone. Make the most of the time you have to yourself. Do things you really enjoy doing. Read positive affirmations. Watch feel-good movies. Put your attention on positivity. It can be like armor against negative people.

  • A headphone can be your friend. If the situation permits, put on some headphones or earbuds. What you can’t hear can’t bother you. Consider listening to a positive podcast or music that makes you feel good. If your work situation allows this, it would be silly not to take advantage of it.

  • Stay away. There are plenty of people in your life that are optional. Stay away from negative people that you don’t have to associate with. You have some control over who is part of your life and who is not.

Negative people will drag you down if you let them. Take steps to minimize the impact they have on your life. Practice gratitude each day, and you can maintain a positive perspective. Block negative people out with headphones and stay away from as many negative people as possible.

Negative people are not going anywhere, but you can learn how to deal with them, and still be a positive person. I hope you found these suggestions and tips helpful. Though not a one size fits all approach, like everything else in life, take what you need and leave the rest.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

Obstacles Equals Opportunities

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I’ve been working on several projects for the past few months; one of which is eBooks and Course creation. Occasionally, I will offer excerpts from my courses and books here, as well as free resources and handouts, leading up to the launch dates. I am passionate about empowering others to see beyond their sometimes limited tunnel vision. As a Social Worker and Life Coach, guiding clients to overcome tough times is a daily occurrence.

I have worked hard not to let fear paralyze me! Every time I step outside of my comfort zone, I am always amazed by just how I accomplish. You can too. Your experiences are shaped by your thinking. Even obstacles have a value when you can see it. You can develop convictions that will help you to feel happier and achieve more, regardless of the situation. Consider these empowering beliefs that you can start using today, to transform your life through the power of positive thinking. The suggestions are taken directly from the current Ebook I am currently editing.

Game-Changing Empowering Beliefs

    1. I understand my potential. You can achieve amazing results when you put your mind to it. Feel excited about reaching your true potential.
    2. I count my blessings. List each thing that you have to be grateful for. Remember to include the smaller items, like warm socks or tart cranberries. Expressing your appreciation reminds you of how rich you are.
    3. I learn from mistakes. You can make setbacks work for you by focusing on the lessons that they contain. Flubbing one job interview can teach you how to ace the next one.
    4. I find meaning in adversity. Tough times can be the most rewarding phase of your life. Know that you can emerge from any challenge with greater wisdom and courage. Look back at the obstacles you’ve already overcome, and reassure yourself that you can handle what’s ahead.
    5. I embrace change. Accept that life is a series of changes. Focus on the present moment, and prepare yourself to adapt to whatever circumstances come your way.
    6. I dream big. Expand your wish list. Setting demanding but attainable goals give you adventures to look forward to each day.
    7. I practice forgiveness. Lighten your load by clearing away any resentment you’re holding onto from the past. Set reasonable boundaries while you respond with compassion when others disappoint you. Pardon yourself too.
    8. I give generously. Sharing your blessings makes you more powerful and joyful. Volunteer in your community and speak kindly to each person you meet today. Buy a coffee for your co-workers or give your receptionist a flower.

    Empowering Beliefs to Help You Strive

    1. I take responsibility. You are in charge of your life. Hold yourself accountable for the outcomes you create. Celebrate the fact that you have the power to determine your own future.
    2. I apply effort. Figure out your definition of success so you know what is worth working for. Give yourself credit when you’re making progress rather than comparing yourself to others.
    3. I leverage my strengths. You have your own individual strengths that you can draw on. Figure out what you’re good at and what you want to do. Let that knowledge guide your choices.
    4. I listen to feedback. Ask for feedback so you can enhance your performance and show others that you respect their point of view. You grow faster when you gather solid input that you can translate into action.
    5. I ask for help. Expand your capabilities by building a sturdy support network. Carpool with other parents. Divide up household chores with your spouse and children.
    6. I connect with others. Moral support counts too. Surround yourself with loving and encouraging family and friends. Participate actively in your faith community. Join a club with members who share your interest in solar power or badminton.
    7. I recognize opportunities. Stay alert for promising openings. You may meet a new friend while you’re standing in line to buy your morning coffee.
    8. I try new things. Be open to experimentation. Go kayaking one weekend instead of playing tennis. Bake your own bread or knit a scarf. You may discover hidden talents.

    An upbeat attitude increases your happiness and productivity. Question your old assumptions, so you can replace them with a new sense of certainty about yourself and your future. Adopt empowering beliefs that build up your confidence, and prepare you for greater success. Start today. 

    You’ll be glad you did!

    Need a free copy of this worksheet? Email Me!

    Kindly use this form to contact me. I will get it right over to you! I hate spam, and will not share your email address with anyone. If you are my friend on Facebook, you can direct message me.

    Until the next post,

    Best,

    Juan

    Game Changer

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    Image: Pexels

    First, to my faithful followers, sincere apologies for not posting in a few months. I’ve been focused on a few projects; compiling my next book, and completing required certifications to transition into a new career. The next several months will be equally busy, but at least the bigger commitments, have been sorted. I am now working setting up my business, as well as editing the final manuscript. The book will be on shelves by September. Good times ahead!

    A few short days ago, America celebrated 243 years of Independence. It’s a national holiday. I spent the time with my sister. A first. Usually I don’t find myself in deep thoughts on this day, but this year was different. I reminisced on how much the past three years in NYC, has shaped and molded me. There is one important area of my life, I’m now in control of. I gained a new level of personal independence. Not in the terms you might immediately think of. I have been on my own for more than two decades. I am quite capable of taking care of myself. However, this particular area of my life kept me back from fully progressing.

    Let me explain. A few short years ago, five to be exact, I felt I couldn’t live without a significant other. You see, as I have hinted to in other posts, I needed to be a part of a two-some to feel complete. I loved someone, who was no good for me, in any way. Circumstances brought me back to the USA, where the change, growth, and healing I desperately needed would start to take shape, both emotionally and physically.

    Moving to another country and state, as big, energetic, and electric as NYC requires grit and determination. I knew I had it in me. I just didn’t know how hard it would be to fine-tune it. I had to gain a new level of individuality, which would take me to a place, I’ve never been, but urgently needed. I learned to do things on my own. I learned to love, not like, my own company.

    So how did I gain this type of freedom? I went to places, and did things on my own. Coffee shops, concerts, movies, restaurants, museums. You name it, I did it. Alone. There are some who would say doing things alone is sad. Does it have to be? What is wrong with enjoying your own company? While I do relish time with friends and family, I also equally love time alone.

    Once I changed my mentality, and in a way being forced to adapt, to the culture shock of moving from England to NYC, I became acutely aware of an astounding new level of freedom. A real game-changer! I became my own best friend. Truth is, not everyone will want to do some of the things I want to do, or be ready to step out of their own comfort zones. Am I willing to let these people hold me back, from doing the things I want to do? No.

    One particular memorable example, was my trip to Thailand in November 2017. It was my first solo adventure. I traveled for more than 30 hours, to the mountains of northern Chiang Mai, volunteered for a week working with elephants, made new friends, and had a magical time. Once that was over, I would spend another few days, experiencing the sites and sounds of several cities, relying on my own instincts and decision making. I knew the person who left NYC for Thailand, was very different from the person who returned.  I had traveled alone before, but not for an extended period of time, mainly taking a flight from one continent to another.

    I do not make light of how I arrived here. For so many, the idea of venturing out alone, travelling solo, or doing anything by yourself, is daunting, sometimes embarrassing. It’s easy to get caught up in what others might think if you are in a restaurant, movie etc. by yourself. And so, we deny ourselves wonderful experiences, waiting until a friend, family, or colleague is ready to do something with them. I don’t make many promises, but I can do this; should you chose to take one small step, outside of the place where you feel most comfortable, and risk doing something solo, it will invigorate, liberate, and free your soul!

    In my case, I had to stop depending on being part of a couple to feel complete. “I had to do something I never did, to get what I never gotten” Tony Robbins. My question to you today is; what are some of the things preventing you from being independent in certain areas of your life? A small step in one direction will be the catalyst for change your soul craves. Start doing things you have been missing out on for years, because you are afraid.

    Life is too short. I stopped waiting around for someone, to show up and change the trajectory of my own life, and circumstances. You and I, owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life we are capable to living. There are no do-overs

    Until the next post. Take care of yourselves and your families.

    Best,

    Juan

     

     

     

     

     

    “We’re Gonna Have To Reheat The Soup”!

    Published on by gamechangerjo1 Comment

    A week and a half ago, as I boarded the last leg of my flight home from Peru, I felt there was something different about me. You see, I had just successfully completed the four-day Inca Trail Trek, which culminates at Machu Picchu. I had experienced a shift. A transformation. There is no other way to describe it. Are you reasonably fit? Do you love the outdoors, can get lost in nature, and all things history related? Add the Inca Trail to your travel bucket list!

    To prepare, I joined a new gym in late December. The old one wasn’t doing it for me anymore. However, it wasn’t until January, that I got serious. I worked out 2-3 days per week. Day two of the trek is the most difficult. You NEED to be fit. I researched and watched videos. There wasn’t much I could do about altitude sickness. As it turned out, I am allergic to Sulpha, an ingredient in the only prescription available. I had to go the natural route. I arrived in Cusco a few days before I joined the group, and start of the trek. Travelers don’t know how, and if, the altitude will affect them, until you arrive. Cusco is 11 k+ feet above sea level, time to acclimatize is essential.

    No Inca Trail Trek, considered one of the top ten treks in the world, would be possible without the tremendous effort of our Porters. I heard so many stories of how hard they work to make sure hikers have an amazing experience. I was not disappointed! One of the girls in my group, said she was expecting sandwiches. Nah! Initially, there was seven people in the group; four took on the Quarry Trail, and the rest of us, the Inca Trail. A team of twelve porters, who prefers to speak Quechua, the language of their ancestors, ranged from 18 years to 50+, an incredible chef, and a guide, were assigned to take care of our group of three. We felt particularly blessed.

    Each morning, we were greeted with our choice of hot drinks at the door of our tent. As there were no shower facilities for three days, a bowl of hot water was also waiting for us. We had very early risings, but, the porters were already up at least an hour before, working to get breakfast ready. Following a filling meal, and once we were on our way, porters would dismantle the camp, and set out, always passing hikers along the way. Hours later, upon arrival to camp for lunch, we would be greeted with cheers and applause, for a job well done.  Once lunch was over, porters would wash, rinse, and repeat.

    Llactapata Inca Ruins

    Day one is often called “Training Day/Inca Flats”. The guide jokingly told us, once we got completed this day, we would most certainly make it through the others. Starting at km 82, the trail of 7.5 miles adventure, took us 8,629 ft above sea level, through some of the most magnificent views on the planet. Passing through quaint small, rural villages, admiring Inca ruins, and ending the day at Wayllabamba. I found out, if you see hikers heading back on donkeys, it’s most likely because they’ve been overcome by heat, exhaustion, or the altitude

    Stunning views from Dead Woman’s Pass

    Day two tests your mettle, perseverance, and commitment to the trek. We hiked uphill for more than four hours, to the formidable Dead Woman’s Pass, the highest point on the trail at 13,829 ft. The air is even thinner at this level, oxygen is in short supply. I lost count of the number of times I stopped to catch my breath. The break at Dead Woman’s Pass was relatively short, temps were cold, so we had to keep moving. Next up, another three hours of downhill trekking over sharp, uneven, large rocks. After lunch, hours of uphill hiking took us to another pass; Abra de Runkuracay. The final hours of the day, would have us taking on savagely steep, sometimes dangerous, arduous downhill hiking. There is nothing, no safety barriers, nada, between you and a sheer drop to death (which has, unfortunately, happened to some). On this incredibly difficult day, you go from burning calves and hamstrings, to burning quads! By the time we arrived at camp around 6:30 pm, we were done for. Having been up since 5 am, hiking for more 10-12 hours. Sleep never really came that night. We camped at 12,829 ft, in frigid temperatures. I wore my extreme weather long johns, fleece pajamas, a puffy coat, hat, used a sleeping bag liner. ..all which did very little to starve off the temps! When I awoke the next day, it had rained the night before, I touched my hat, to find it mildly damp from condensation. Twice on this night, I woke up, struggling to catch my breath.

    Example of the beautiful trails and Phuyupatamarka Ruins

    Day three was more manageable. After the day before, we felt confident and empowered. As it turned out, we had to hike straight through after breakfast. The highest point for the day was almost 12k feet. We were so grateful to end the day at 2 pm at a ranger’s station. By this time, we had not showered for three days. I took the plunge with a cold shower in 50-degree weather. My team thought I was brave. No, just sticky! I was encouraged to see a few others doing it too. The last night meant a small ceremony, thank you’s, goodbyes, tips hand off, photo ops, and even a bit of dancing. I will never forget the porters. Ever.

    We Made It

    On Day four, we were awakened at 3:30 am, given sack breakfast, while the porters dismantled camp, and got ready to catch the 5am train back to Cusco. Once the Rangers checked documents, we were on our way, in the dark, using headlamps. About one hour into the trek, the large group of hikers ahead of us came to a stop. It had rained the night before, causing a large boulder  became loose, blocking the path. We sat around trading stories, listening to songs, as men worked for about an hour, to break it apart, and clear the way. Right before we got to the Sun Gate, our walking poles served no purpose. Everyone had to crawl on hands and knees up a steep hill (known as the Gringko Killer). Upon arrival at the famed Sun Gate, we let out a massive hoot and holler!

    Machu Picchu; we had enjoyed gorgeous weather the previous three days, except for today. About twenty minutes after arrival at the Sun Gate, the heavens opened. Fog and mist abounded, making it hard to get decent shots. We certainly tried! We would walk another mile or two before arriving to the impressive Inca ruin. Everyone was in agreement; while the site was breathtakingly beautiful, the four-day journey there, is what we would remember forever. On our way down, we passed many tourists, who took the train and bus, huffing and puffing their way up to the Sun Gate. Some asked “How much further to the top?” I managed their expectations. Later, we laughed together at the questions; they really didn’t know what weariness felt like!

    Many people attempt to hike the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu. Some don’t finish. During my time there, one chap, who obviously underestimated how tough the trail would be, turned back on the first day. According to our guide; hikers suffer heart attacks, on several occasions, porters had to evacuate people in the middle of the night off the mountains, due to medical emergencies. The trail is often steep and dangerous, some have fallen to their deaths, which is harrowing! Several tourists, through total stupidity, ignore the safety strings at the Sun Gate; in efforts to take ultimate selfie, also fell to their deaths. The day I left, I asked family and friends to send me travel mercies, and the universe was listening.

    There are other several traditional ways to get to Machu Picchu; the less difficult and shorter Quarry Trail (which also doesn’t have the views and as many ruins), and the combination of train and bus. Question is, where is the fun in that? You will miss the breathtaking views, amazing history, striking natural beauty, stunning scenery, which sets the Inca Trail apart! En route, we passed by so many Inca Ruins, which served as resting shelters for weary Inca travelers, look out points, ceremonial religious sites, and farms on the way to Machu Picchu, which was discovered in 1911, and subsequently restored.

    The story is, the Incas built treacherous Inca Trail, not because it was the easiest way to get there (no, there are quicker, shorter routes), but because they believed one must work hard, and suffer before entering the most sacred city. Word is the Inca Trail was reserved for VIP’s of the times.

    On the Inca Trail, you will most certainly go through several stages; the acclimatization and shock of “why did I sign up for this?” Just go with it, and live in the moment! Pain; your legs will hurt; you will suddenly be acutely aware of extra nerve endings. You might not be able to move after most long days of hiking, but it starts all over again the next day. There is also a small bit of guilt: “Why do normal people put themselves through this?”. Bargaining and acceptance; you’ve made it to Dead Woman’s Pass? Anything else is possible. Acceptance, and Triumph; you’ve come this far, Machu Picchu is the prize. You got this.

    We would spend another full day in Cusco, seeing the sites, before parting company. Peru has a rather homey feeling about the place. I got to practice my limited Spanish, on some very accommodating locals. Now, how did I chose the title of this blog piece? We were late getting to camp a few times, which meant the porters would get behind schedule, by an hour at the most. So many photos to take of our surroundings. In other instances, going downhill was painful for a member of the group, so we went at a slower pace. The cooks and servers didn’t know what to do with us. On day two, we were later than usual. The server, Antonio, whose nickname is Antonio Banderas, took sight of us arriving at camp, and exclaimed “We are gonna have to reheat the soup!” We spent our Happy Hour that night, reliving the look on his face.

    More than a week after I returned home, my knees were still aching. I didn’t care too much! I take the NYC subway stairs better now. I remain very grateful for all the moving parts, especially the hardworking people who gave so much, so I could have this once in a life time experience. I will never forget Peru. I wanted to end the hike on my birthday, it didn’t work out this way. Circumstances meant, I had to change my dates. I now know, the people and experience, made the trip exactly what it should be.

    Many of my work colleagues, upon my return asked: “Why do you want to go hiking on a vacation?” Of course, admittedly, they enjoy all-inclusives when travelling. I didn’t give much of an explanation, because we are obviously very different people! I’ve got Mount Kilimanjaro in my cross hairs now, with more time to prepare of course! We will see.

    Until the next post,

    Best,

    Juan

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    #nofear

    Published on by gamechangerjoLeave a comment

    Photo: Google Images

    I kid you not, I blinked, and 2018 is now a distant memory! Where does time disappear to? Yea, I know, rhetorical question, but really? It seems as if all we do, is work, eat, and sleep, with some measure of fun, thrown in between here and there. The fact is, you and I will never see today again. Humbling.

    Is this what life is all about? What are we supposed to do, with our allotted time? Work for decades, and spend the rest of it “enjoying retirement?” I personally don’t think so. Disclaimer : it’s absolutely fine, if my views are not shared by the majority. There is nothing wrong with working for decades, getting married, having children, setting them free, retire, and then live…if that is what you want. I just know, there was a time, I would do and give anything to have this type of existence. Until life handed me a new set of dreams.

    Over the past few years, I’ve been striving to live a life of no fear. While I’m not totally fearless, I’m closer than I’ve ever been. I have taken risks and done some remarkable things. No, I am not gloating, nor am I patting myself on the back. Every time I write a post of this nature, I’m reminded just how far I have traveled, and what it took, to get me here.

    A lot can happen in a year! For me, 2018 has been a year of experiences, I soon won’t forget

    Let’s get back to the business at hand. You see, our brains are like a filing cabinet; always shuffling old experiences to make sense, of the constant barrage of incoming ones. When we encounter an unknown, fear often prevails, because we simply don’t have any experience to either reconcile or associate it with. Often, we have two choices; we can run away, as the outcome is not known, or the braver warriors stand up, venture into uncharted territories, and often win!

    So, my question is, as somehow you happened upon this post, what are you afraid of? What would you be able to achieve, if your life was filled with less fear? Which mountains would you climb? Would your dreams be turned into reality? Goals, once barely within reach, now fully realized, if you stood your ground, when challenged?

    How do we get closer to living the life we want, do things we only dream of, and become more fulfilled? Unless your goal is to be in the same place next year, as you are now, then consider these suggestions: laugh, embrace, and challenge the unknown.

    Laughter has been shown to banish anxiety and stress and replace fear. It is a testament of our courage, which is stronger than fear. The phrase “laughter is the best medicine” have never been more applicable. True, it’s foolhardy to think laughter will erase the issue or fear permanently. However, we all need a strong helping of humor in our lives every day, and at least for a moment, it changes the makeup of our brains, which tells us to run in the opposite direction, when we are faced with the unknown. Humor strengthens our ability to confront our fears.

    Embrace the Unknowns: usually, going off the beaten path, and embracing things we are not comfortable with, often leads to some of the most life affirming experiences we can ever! May I be so bold as to suggest that sticking to the same routines, day after day, because we are afraid to venture out of our comfort zones, is very stifling. Quite a few of us are in the same place, as this time last year. Not me. I’m more scared of not growing, learning, and purely existing.

    Face the challenge; I love this quote “If you ever find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to question how you got there!” Makes sense? If you are not progressing, you are not being challenged. I’ll never tell anyone to carelessly throw caution to wind. No! Know your limits. If you find it comfortable watching life go by from the shadows, this post isn’t for you. But if it struck a chord within your thirsty soul, what will it take to quench the thirst, and set it on fire?

    I’ve been blessed with some rather amazing and incredible highs in 2018. Of course, there have been lows. As I’ve told my friends and those I work with; do not waste another moment mourning the failures of this past year. Nothing can change it now. If you want a different existence in 2019 and beyond, but find yourself afraid to go after it, take this with you into the new year: ”Everything we want, is on the other side of fear”

    Step out in faith. You got this. The universe wants to give you your heart’s desires!

    Wishing you and yours, every happiness and blessing you desire, and deserve in the year ahead.

    Until the next post,

    Best,

    Juan