Category: Love/Relationships

One More Day!

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OneMoreDayOLTwo days. That’s all it took. To change the life of a person I adore. On Thursday, my friend learned her father had terminal cancer. The next day doctors delivered even more grave news. His condition had deteriorated so badly, and he had days to live. My heart ached for her. The journey would take 12 hours. He couldn’t even speak anymore. She left with a heavy heart. Hoping to make it to his bedside. Before he passed away. Like me, she met her father very late in life.

I began thinking about my own personal circumstances. A father I never knew. Until two years ago. To be honest. I think it was too late for us. Perhaps, if we met a decade or two ago, things might be different. The damage has been done. I know there is a lot for me to forgive. And so I shall. It’s a start.

I thought about what I would do. If I only had days to live. Then I remembered, a piece from my first published anthology of poems. One More Day. I hope it offers insight. No matter where you are in life.

If we knew that we had one more day on earth, would we…

Love with more passion?

Listen more attentively?

Hug our loved ones tighter?

Laugh until it hurts?

Smile a tad bit wider?

Touch more gently?

Kiss as if it will be your last?

Talk a lot less and listen more?

Forgive wrongdoings more quickly?

Walk with a spring in our step?

Spend more time with the ones you love?

Leave work at work?

Sweat the small stuff?

Tell them how much you truly love them?

Stop to smell the flowers?

Play in the rain, just once more?

Take a moonlight stroll on the beach?

Turn off the television and read a bedtime story to your child?

Pray together as a family?

Give away all your possessions, just to have one more day?

Appreciate nature?

Give thanks for all that you have?

Yield to someone in traffic?

Give to the beggar on the street?

Volunteer at your favourite charity?

Make someone’s wish come true?

Be a big brother or big sister to an underprivileged child?

Stop by the local food kitchen and ask how you can help?

Handwrite a letter to your mom?

Dance, really, like no one is watching?

Befriend the office outcast?

Pray longer tonight?

Make breakfast in bed for your spouse?

Take the day off work to spend with the family?

Spend a few hours at the local humane society?

Treat this Christmas as if it was your last?

Quit complaining as much?

Say: “I’m sorry,” even though you did nothing wrong?

Drive hours to see a friend who is hospitalized?

Give up your seat on the bus?

Look at your glass as half empty or half full?

Would you…?

In short, make time for the things that really, truly matter. Tomorrow is promised to no one.

Juan Williams (2009)

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

Question Is….

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Have you had enough? Why do we allow the same people to hurt us, over and over? How many more offenses will we forgive? How long will we allow them to run amok, creating distress in our lives?

Not yet. Is the subconscious thought. They are actually great in other areas. I bet. There will be at least one more offense to forgive. One more distressing episode. One more…That is. Until. We wake up one day. Look in the mirror. And say: “today is the first day of the rest of my life”.

Oh. Friends and family will try to convince us. Remind us. Force us.To see the truth. Want better for ourselves. Wake up. Yep. All good. But. Until we’re ready. To accept the truth. To realise. Nothing will change until we do. Only then. We will know. When we’ve had enough.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

‘Bout Time!

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Yes. It is. It’s been two months. Since. I blogged. Tsk.Tsk. Quick update. And in my defense. It’s not easy planning a wedding from, and moving to another country. While working. And doing your best to stay sane. Phew! It’s been a whirlwind. But we got it done. To my regular followers and readers. Apologies! Life has been crazily busy. All good. Less than a week ago. I married my best friend in Gretna Green Scotland. A day for the history books! I will upload wedding pics to Facebook in due course.

I know I owe you a real post. Working on it. Today, a quote is a quote from Will Smith gets the juices flowing again.

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Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

Dear…

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Epiphany,

Can we please visit together more often? I need more. Of these. Auspicious encounters.

Sincerely. Me.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

I Wish You Enough.

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I blogged about many topics this past year. Some required a great deal of thought. While others came as I watched a story unfold. Spoke with friends. The rest? Personal experiences. If I had Twelve Wishes  was my last post in 2011. None of the personal wishes were granted. In all honesty, 2012 has been a very difficult year. As I’m sure it is for most of us. So. This year. I decided not to wish for anything. I’ll wait. To see. What 2013 brings. And remain hopeful for the best.

To all my friends. Supporters. Followers. I don’t personally know each of you. But. I appreciate your support. Comments (keep them coming). Love. And friendship. My life is better. Because you’re a part of it. I hope the year ahead. Brings you and your family many good things. I’d like to share one of my favourite stories with you. Whether or not you’ve read/heard it before. Please. Read it again. For 2013. I wish you. Enough.

“At an airport I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her plane’s departure and standing near the door, he said to his daughter, “I love you, I wish you enough.” She said, “Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy.” They kissed good-bye and she left.

He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?” “Yes, I have,” I replied.

Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing.

“Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?” I asked.

“I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral, ” he said.

“When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I ask what that means?”

He began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more. “When we said ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them,” he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory. “I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Good-bye.” He then began to sob and walked away.

For everyone who has touched my life in phenomenal ways. And to those. I’ve yet to meet. I hope you’ve had a memorable holiday. And for the years to come. I wish you enough.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

Guilty…

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Pleasures. That is. My definition: things I am powerless to say “no” to. I have an abnormally high level of them. So. Don’t judge me, cuz I sin differently than you 🙂 . I’m sharing a few. No particular order. I don’t like to use the phrase “guilty pleasures”. Because, they are things which make me happy. And gives pleasure. And I don’t feel a single ounce of guilt.

  • Eating Haagan Daas vanilla ice cream out of the container.
  • Checkers fries. By the bucket load.
  • Cuddling until I fall asleep.
  • Men with a wicked sense of humor.
  • Sleeping in late in the morning.
  • Being waited on by my significant other.
  • Spontaneous shopping sprees.
  • Staying in bed all day during bad weather.
  • Holding hands, and strolling through quaint villages.
  • All night pillow talk.
  • Dancing in the rain.
  • 800+ thread ct sheets.
  • Receiving “just because” gifts.
  • Listening to a man with a sexy voice.
  • Long, breathless kisses. With a partner who has perfected his craft.

Live. Love. Laugh. And be happy.”What’s my guilty pleasure? The thing is, I never feel guilty about pleasures” Tom Hiddleston

Best,

Juan.

A..

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…Successful relationship is a ton of work by two very flawed people who are committed to lower their expectations and dedicate themselves, in spite of their partner’s glaring faults, to going on a journey together. Anything less is probably not going to make it.”~ Scott Williams.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

Life.Bottled.

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Recently. I was blessed. With a very tender experience. Spending time in the company of Susy. And her ridiculously adorable baby boy.What a sweet occasion. When I lived in Miami, Susy and I belong to a very close-knit group of friends. The first to become a parent. She is an awesome mom. I’m always moved. When I witness the love of a mother towards her baby. No doubt. I will have more tender moments. Because another one of us is getting married next year. Bring on the babies.

During one of the occasions I was left alone with Kai. I took a long, good look at him. As I gazed at his angelic face. I was reminded of the value and sanctity of life. Its the greatest expression of trust. By a loving Heavenly Father. Charging parents with the sacred and humble responsibility. To love. And care for his precious children. If you’re a parent reading this. Please. Dont take this responsibility lightly. I’m sure. On many days. It’s very overwhelming. Keep at it. The rewards are innumerable. They are YOURS. Given to you. For reasons. You might not know. Or understand. At this time.

Whenever I hold a baby. I get teased. “You’re a natural Juan”. “When are you going to have your own?”. “You need to get busy woman”. This time is no different. In the past. With youth on my side. I brushed aside the teasing. Now. I chalk it up to God’s will. Which is true. However, I rarely let on. That I’ve given the idea of parenthood a lot of thought. I mean. What will my child look like? Tall like me? As for personality traits. Which ones will dominate? Maybe a combination of both? How and where will we raise our child? Etc. My family is prone to twins. What if the father of my child is too? Naw…..

I don’t want a sports team. That’s a certainty. One pregnancy. Will cure me. However. For one reason or another. I’ve not been blessed with this sacred responsibility. Time will tell. Maybe one day. I will experience. The joy. Of knowing. What it means. To love someone more than life itself. In the meantime. I can live vicariously through my siblings. And friends. Right now though. I will continue to work on myself. I’m not there yet. But I’m closer than I was yesterday.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

Soapbox Therapy

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Recently, the small town of Kennebunk, Maine, was the focus of an unraveling, salacious story. Alexis Wright, a zumba dance instructor, and her partner/boyfriend were arrested and charged, with prostitution. Tongues wagged. In her studio, police found detailed ledgers. And secret video recordings. The Johns were filmed without their knowledge or consent. Click here to read the story. Fine. This is America. Nothing new. People get busted for this stuff. Often.

However, what truly grinds my gears are the Johns. And the bevy of legal wrangling which has followed. Lawyers have filed emergency petitions to prevent their clients’ names from being publicized. They claimed. Among other things, releasing their names would result in “irreparable harm” to their families. Damaged reputations. Invasion of privacy. Loss of jobs etc. Yeah. Right. No kidding. Apparently, the list contains the names of public officials, people in law enforcement, and other high places. So far, 21 names from a list of 100 +, have been released. In a small community of about 10,000 people. Well. You can figure out the rest.

Why didn’t these Johns (especially the married ones) consider all the repercussions to begin with? Did they spare a thought for the lives it would ruin? No. Or maybe they never thought it would come to this. They had one thought in mind. Perhaps a few. But fair is fair. If she is going to be paraded all over the media, why can’t the names be released? Why does the justice system waste time and resources to consider the motions? Rhetorical question. She has to live with this scandal. Surely these Johns shouldn’t be exempt from the same public scorn and ridicule?.

Chances are, very few are privy to what happens. Or doesn’t happen. Between a husband and wife. In their bedroom. We can’t judge another because of a fetish. Or two. Or  better yet, how they chose to live their lives. BUT. When that life becomes public knowledge. Because of illegal activity. Surely. You can’t expect to escape unscathed. Its no longer an “invasion of privacy”.

Before I put my soapbox away. I believe. Only cowards. And the selfish. Cheat. If you’ve outgrown the relationship. And feel it’s necessary to look elsewhere. For something else. If you’re no longer happy. You’ve done all you can. To save the marriage. And nothing has worked. Then end it. Plain. And simple. You’re not doing anyone any favours by cheating.

My heart aches for the smallest victims. Often overlooked, in these situations. The children. Thier view of a loving, trusting world is forever changed. They will be forced to deal with feelings of shame. And embarrassment. In their own adult relationships, they will wrestle with issues of trust. As time passes, I hope these wounds heal. I empathise with the wives. Especially the unsuspecting ones.  I hope after the first stages of anger. Denial. And acceptance are over. They can begin the process of piecing together their shattered lives. Can a marriage recover from cheating? Probably. But. It will never be the same.

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Unless of course, the gander has more money. Well. The soapbox is back under the bed.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

A Prelude.To His Kiss.

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He pulled me gently towards him. Instinctively. I buried my face in his chest. A rich, alluring scent flirted with my senses. Obsession. By CK. He dwarfed me. By almost a foot. I felt protected. Cradled in his warm embrace. Finally we drew back. We needed to breathe. Independently. Our hands remained loosely wrapped around each other. My eyes travelled upwards. And clashed with his heated gaze. A gamut of indescribable emotions assaulted me. My pulse quickened. Could he feel my heart doing somersaults in my chest? My eyes. I’ve been told. Are very expressive. Right now. I hope that’s the case. I hope he saw how much I love him. How much I appreciate his kindness. The gentle way he responds to my needs. I’m overwhelmed by my feelings for him. Our gazes lock.Time is suspended. To my dismay, my throat constricts. And tears moistened my lashes. In an effort to keep them at bay, I blinked rapidly. And cleared my throat. I failed. Miserably. A traitorous tear trickled down my cheek. Followed by another. Causing a cloud of worry to flitter across his features. He was trying to understand.

An eternity passed. Finally, I opened my mouth to give a cheeky explanation. Then snapped it shut. Because a look of pure joy lit up his face. He knew. And I knew. He knew. Without breaking eye contact. He lightly caressed my cheek. And used his thumb, to gently brush my tears away. Undone by his touch. All I could do was give a weak smile. He returned it. His gaze became heated again. I felt a familiar weakness beginning to build in my stomach. I knew what was coming. The corners of his mouth drew slightly upward.  His hands framed my face. And brought it closer to his. I couldn’t resist. Did not want to. I looked down for a second. That’s when I felt warm lips touch my forehead. And my nose. Then nothing. I looked up. Quickly. For I missed the contact. Our eyes found one another again. I smiled. Our breaths mingled. A sigh escaped me. At least I thought it was mine. It was the last thing I remembered. Right before I closed my eyes. And raised my lips to meet his. They met. Gentle, and tentative at first. Then became more fevered. The weak feeling intensified. Then I remembered. Just like the first. “It’s” in his kiss.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan