Category: Life Lessons

My First Time

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My official Race for Life Number. I was giddy. With excitement. I literally ripped open the envelope. Scattered the contents on the bed. And stared. Minutes later, I was caressing the glossy paper. Then the most glorious smile lit up my entire face. For long moments. I dreamt. About the event. My first official 5K. I hope I will be ready. Can anyone ever be ready for their first event? Nah. Fools paradise 🙂

Why? Recently I dug out my vision board. I decided it was time to continue working on the dreams I once held. My accomplishments? Not too shabby.  There is still work to be done. Time to get my butt in gear. I always wanted to take part in a marathon. Maybe a few. But you gotta start somewhere. And work hard. A 5K is a good place . However,  I wanted to run for a cause. An event. Something to attach the memory. Decades from now.

Enter The Race For Life Bristol Muddy 5K event on July 7th 2014 at the Downs in Clifton. Sponsored by Cancer Research UK. This link  #justgiving takes you to my personal page. Yes, my fundraising goal is very ambitious. So if you can, please show your support. No amount is too small. Not to the people who will benefit. If we don’t dream big. Then we’re settling for mediocrity. I have started to slowly get back into the gym. And work my way into a local women’s running group. Trying to pace myself, and not rush things. As is my penchant. Heaven help me!

Why this charity? A year and a half ago, my 25-year-old cousin succumbed to the effects of lymphatic cancer. One of the drawbacks of living on an island, is limited access to good healthcare. You’re pretty much left up to the mercy and training of your local doctor. If your condition is serious. And you don’t have the resources, to seek better care in another country. Your goosed is cooked. Literally. Fast forward, by the time he was diagnosed there was only months to go. I am doing this to honour his memory. And raise money while I am at it.

My first marathon. Creating history. Writing my life story. Life is unpredictable. Filled with tragedies. But. Fortunately, amidst all this. Joy can be found. And if you can’t find it. Then create it! Doing what you want adds immense joy to your soul. I plan on doing a lot of things this year. And no doubt this event will feature prominently on the pages of my life. As the Brits would say : I am “chuffed to bits” to be doing this. Hopefully, this will be part of a legendary year for me.

What will this year bring you? I pray for the best. For you, your family, and the loved ones you hold close. I hope you go after what you want. With all the energy and fire of your soul. Do what makes you happy. Because one day, it can all be taken. Please remember how amazing you are. The essence that is you. There is no one in the world like you. No one can take your place in this world. Believe that. Go on. Be happy.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

Feliz Ano Nuevo!

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Hello 2014. Happy New Year!

Nine days out. A new year. 2014. Snucked up on us. Ready. Or not. Each time a New Year dawns. So many things come in its wake. Expectations. Changes. Resolutions. New attitudes. Plans. New perspectives. A fresh start. Now is the time. To do just that. Some make resolutions. Others swing by their coat tails. Rolling with the punches as they come. Whatever you chose to do this year. I wish nothing but the best for you. And your loved ones. Go after what you want. With all the energy of your soul. Fight for it. Don’t give up. I intend to!

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

This Christmas.

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Who knew? Another Christmas is upon us. Like a thief in the night. It has literally crept up on us. So many things to get done. The stress of finding the perfect gift. For your loved ones. Especially the ones who have everything. There isn’t enough time in the day. We are literally stretching ourselves thin. The pressure is on. To be ready. For the day when Christians celebrate the birth of the Saviour.

I have truly fond memories of Christmas. Everything seemed to happen on Christmas Eve. The house was scrubbed from top to bottom. Every family member stayed up until stupid-o clock the next morning. Cooking. Baking. Hanging curtains. Hopefully new ones. Arranging doilies on cushions. Hanging decorations in the windows. Every neighbour kept an eye on each other’s house. Waiting to see whose house would end up looking the best. I loved the energy surrounding this day. As a result, it has always been the only holiday, I get truly excited for!

Living in the USA took some of the joys out of the tradition. Christmas has been exploited. Become commercialized. In recent times, I have felt a longing to change this. It’s natural to turn inward and focus on loved ones. And easily forget everyone else. Because our lives are so wrapped up in parties, gift giving, and every other celebration. This post is not to invoke guilt. Nor detract from the reasons we gather together at this time of year. It’s as a gentle reminder, to do something different next year. What that means for you. Is different for me.

This Christmas. I hope we spare a thought and prayer for those without family. Especially the people who call the cold, cruel streets their home. Before I volunteered at a shelter, like many, I had a stereotypical view of homeless people. I was humbled. Fast. Every situation is personal and different. And except for the very small number with mental issues, NO ONE chooses to be homeless. And before we appoint ourselves as armchair judgemental moralists, and voice our reasons. Don’t. We haven’t walked in their shoes. We don’t know their lives. Don’t know their pain. I know for a fact, many of them long to be somewhere else.

This Christmas while our kids are opening presents. I want us to think about the young girl or boy placed in foster care for the first time. The child who, due to no fault of their own, was born into a family that cannot take care of them. I lived with a foster-mother for years. I remembered days. And nights. When I wondered if my mom was ever coming to pick me up. Luckily for me. She did. For Christmas. But so many aren’t as fortunate. I want us to pray for the ones most afraid. Who won’t be getting any gifts this year. Furthermore, the children displaced by famine. Hunger. Political uprisings. Keep them in our thoughts.

This Christmas. I want us to keep in our thoughts. The people newly single. Whose hearts are heavy because their relationships broke down. The people who once entered relationships, with so much hope, trust, and enthusiasm. Only to watch it all come apart. Fast. I want us to think about how hard this Christmas will be for them. They once envisioned what the first Christmas tree would look like. The presents waiting under the tree. Fickle things. Yes. But like everything else, their dreams of a happily ever after have been squashed. They must begin the painful process of rebuilding. Recovering.

This Christmas. I want us to give thanks, and keep in our hearts the soldiers deployed overseas. Many of whom will be spending their first Christmas away from home. These brave men and women have made huge sacrifices. Many fighting for causes, you and I might not agree with. These soldiers made a commitment. And they intend to honour it. I only can imagine. Their one wish, above anything else, is to return to their loved ones. I hope next Christmas, their wish is granted.

I can write about so many other groups. But you get the picture. I know the past year has had its share of phenomenally difficult trials. For so many of us. Friendships have been lost. Relationships estranged. Mistakes  plentiful. Grudges and resentments are probably eating away at our souls. The harshest judgments have come from the very same people who claim to love us. But for others. Not so.  They chose to stay. They love without boundaries. Unwavering in their love and support. I thank them. On my behalf. And yours.

I LOVE this quote by Will Smith: Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing, and work hard. The right people… the ones who really belong in your life, will come to you. And stay.”. Little did I know. This is the year. It would apply to my life. As 2014 dawns upon us. And it will. I hope we can reflect on this past year. Learn from the mistakes. Hold our head up. And keep fighting. But for now. Enjoy this Christmas.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

One More Day!

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OneMoreDayOLTwo days. That’s all it took. To change the life of a person I adore. On Thursday, my friend learned her father had terminal cancer. The next day doctors delivered even more grave news. His condition had deteriorated so badly, and he had days to live. My heart ached for her. The journey would take 12 hours. He couldn’t even speak anymore. She left with a heavy heart. Hoping to make it to his bedside. Before he passed away. Like me, she met her father very late in life.

I began thinking about my own personal circumstances. A father I never knew. Until two years ago. To be honest. I think it was too late for us. Perhaps, if we met a decade or two ago, things might be different. The damage has been done. I know there is a lot for me to forgive. And so I shall. It’s a start.

I thought about what I would do. If I only had days to live. Then I remembered, a piece from my first published anthology of poems. One More Day. I hope it offers insight. No matter where you are in life.

If we knew that we had one more day on earth, would we…

Love with more passion?

Listen more attentively?

Hug our loved ones tighter?

Laugh until it hurts?

Smile a tad bit wider?

Touch more gently?

Kiss as if it will be your last?

Talk a lot less and listen more?

Forgive wrongdoings more quickly?

Walk with a spring in our step?

Spend more time with the ones you love?

Leave work at work?

Sweat the small stuff?

Tell them how much you truly love them?

Stop to smell the flowers?

Play in the rain, just once more?

Take a moonlight stroll on the beach?

Turn off the television and read a bedtime story to your child?

Pray together as a family?

Give away all your possessions, just to have one more day?

Appreciate nature?

Give thanks for all that you have?

Yield to someone in traffic?

Give to the beggar on the street?

Volunteer at your favourite charity?

Make someone’s wish come true?

Be a big brother or big sister to an underprivileged child?

Stop by the local food kitchen and ask how you can help?

Handwrite a letter to your mom?

Dance, really, like no one is watching?

Befriend the office outcast?

Pray longer tonight?

Make breakfast in bed for your spouse?

Take the day off work to spend with the family?

Spend a few hours at the local humane society?

Treat this Christmas as if it was your last?

Quit complaining as much?

Say: “I’m sorry,” even though you did nothing wrong?

Drive hours to see a friend who is hospitalized?

Give up your seat on the bus?

Look at your glass as half empty or half full?

Would you…?

In short, make time for the things that really, truly matter. Tomorrow is promised to no one.

Juan Williams (2009)

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

Question Is….

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Have you had enough? Why do we allow the same people to hurt us, over and over? How many more offenses will we forgive? How long will we allow them to run amok, creating distress in our lives?

Not yet. Is the subconscious thought. They are actually great in other areas. I bet. There will be at least one more offense to forgive. One more distressing episode. One more…That is. Until. We wake up one day. Look in the mirror. And say: “today is the first day of the rest of my life”.

Oh. Friends and family will try to convince us. Remind us. Force us.To see the truth. Want better for ourselves. Wake up. Yep. All good. But. Until we’re ready. To accept the truth. To realise. Nothing will change until we do. Only then. We will know. When we’ve had enough.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

How Much?!

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Question. Well. Actually a few. How much is enough? Money. That is. How much. Will it take to make you happy? If you’re a two income household. And circumstances dictated you live on one. Your life would change. But. In what way? Would it seriously affect the relationship you have with your spouse? Children? Of course. The knee jerk reaction is. It shouldn’t. But it can. Depends. On how much it matters to you.

I don’t believe. I am alone. When I say. I  can be happy with or without it. I don’t reside on Fool’s Paradise Lane. We need it to live. However. To make the pursuit of having more. And more. Is not something I obsess over. This doesn’t mean I set myself above those who chose to. But. It means I have learned  to be happy. Either way. I have never had enough . So. I made a decision to get on with it.

When you grew up in a single parent home. And your needs always took second place over a bill. Food. Etc. Your outlook changes. It’s different. And sometimes. Not very popular. When you get teased by your peers , because the shoes you wear to school, are so worn out, there are holes in the soles. You adjust. When you go to school hungry. Hoping your friends share their lunch with you. You learn. To make do. With what you have. Or don’t.

I get bored. Out of my skin. And tune out nine out of ten times. When people go on and on. About what they would do if they had more money. Or how much different. And better. Their lives would be. If only. They made more. I have also entertained such thoughts. And idle conversation. Until I realized. How much time. I was wasting. At the risk of sounding cynical. Why wait until we have enough? Why not. Do the best we can. With what we have? Waiting is not living. It’s existing. Sounds like a prison. In and of itself.

“Money is the root of all evil”. “Anyone who tells you money can’t buy happiness, doesn’t know where to shop”. “Money can’t buy happiness, but it’s a lot easier to cry in a BMW than a bicycle”. Yep. Heard them all. Haven’t you? In response, I say. Count your blessings. Not the zeros. Or lack of it. In your bank account. Count the things. Money cant buy. Friendships. People who love you. Feeling loved. Cherished. Respected. Character. Happiness. Talent. Peace. Things we sometimes lose. In pursuit. Of the mighty dollar. Have you ever made a list of things money can’t buy? Do it. I hope these made the list.

There is nothing wrong. With wanting good things in life. It’s human nature. But. When it takes over your life. Becomes all you think about. When you hardly see your family and friends . Constantly bring home work with you. If daycare. Or the tele. Is raising your kids. Because both parents feel the need to work. Or if you never have anytime for yourself. And find yourself constantly harping. On how busy your schedule is. Etc. Tell me. How is it working for you?

It’s not my intention to offend. Judge. Or belittle anyone’s choices. Everyone has a unique situation. The aim behind this post. Is to encourage us to reëxamine. The focus of our energies . To think about redirecting some of it. Into living a more fulfilled life. Where having more money. Is not the epicenter. Of everything we do. Live. And breathe. I hope. You and I don’t “wake up” decades from now. And regret. Not spending more time doing the things we like. With the people we love. Because. We were too busy. Trying to add to the bank balance.

I invite. No. Challenge you. To look up the top five deathbed wishes. See. If what you’re working so hard for. Will have you whispering these things. When it’s your time. To return home. So. I will end. With the question I started with. How much is enough?

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

‘Bout Time!

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Yes. It is. It’s been two months. Since. I blogged. Tsk.Tsk. Quick update. And in my defense. It’s not easy planning a wedding from, and moving to another country. While working. And doing your best to stay sane. Phew! It’s been a whirlwind. But we got it done. To my regular followers and readers. Apologies! Life has been crazily busy. All good. Less than a week ago. I married my best friend in Gretna Green Scotland. A day for the history books! I will upload wedding pics to Facebook in due course.

I know I owe you a real post. Working on it. Today, a quote is a quote from Will Smith gets the juices flowing again.

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Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

Give It Another Go!

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second-chances

Life is “awashed” with second chances. Every morning. With the dawn of a new day. It’s there for the taking. Some. Not every misstep can be fixed. However. Like yesterday. We got lucky. The heavens smiled on us. Blessing us. With another opportunity. To get it right. But. For millions all over the world. They’ve run out of second chances. Because. Sometime in the past twenty-four hours. They took their last breath. They won’t get a do-ever.

No need to dwell on the things we can’t change. Or the second chances we will never get. So. We are alive. What will we do with the second chances we’ve been given today? How will you and I approach correcting the wrongs? Offer or receive forgiveness. Apologizing for a harsh word. An unintended action. Which resulted in bruised feelings? The unspoken words to a partner. Spouse. Child. Friend. Coworker. And the sometimes elusive chance of finding lasting love.

We need to learn. If we have not already done so. To cherish these precious moments. Embrace them. Live for them. Make every second count. This past Friday, I experienced my “real” first blizzard. I said real. Because when I lived in Colchester, the blizzard was a drop in the bucket compared to this! I live in NE now. Never seen anything like this. Except on tele.

If you need further convincing. That every moment is precious. Every chance should be taken. Read on. As usual. Right after the storm has passed. People get to work. Clearing snow. Sadly. In Dorchester. A young boy was helping his father to do just that. The temperature was frigid. It became very cold. And uncomfortable for the young man. The father turned on their vehicle. To provide warmth and comfort. Sadly, the exhaust pipe was blocked. By more than three feet of snow. Carbon monoxide poisoning claimed the young man’s life. So many ifs. My point is. How many of us are given warnings of our last moments?

Yes. Often when we look around. There aren’t many reasons to be joyful. In the same vein. There are a lot of unhappy people in the world. Many are lost. Trying to find a way out of the darkness. Wandering aimlessly. With the weight of the world. Pressing heavily on delicate shoulders. We’ve been there too. Lost sight of the joy. We often forget that today. This moment. Is the opportunity for a do over. That many prayers have been answered. Hearts softened. And now. We’re face to face. With the joy and wonder. Of being able to do it all over again. Today is all we’ve got. It’s our second chance.

Until the next post..” We’re given second chances every day of our life. We don’t usually take them, but they’re there for the taking” Andrew M. Greeley.

Best,

Juan

Dear…

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Epiphany,

Can we please visit together more often? I need more. Of these. Auspicious encounters.

Sincerely. Me.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

I Wish You Enough.

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I blogged about many topics this past year. Some required a great deal of thought. While others came as I watched a story unfold. Spoke with friends. The rest? Personal experiences. If I had Twelve Wishes  was my last post in 2011. None of the personal wishes were granted. In all honesty, 2012 has been a very difficult year. As I’m sure it is for most of us. So. This year. I decided not to wish for anything. I’ll wait. To see. What 2013 brings. And remain hopeful for the best.

To all my friends. Supporters. Followers. I don’t personally know each of you. But. I appreciate your support. Comments (keep them coming). Love. And friendship. My life is better. Because you’re a part of it. I hope the year ahead. Brings you and your family many good things. I’d like to share one of my favourite stories with you. Whether or not you’ve read/heard it before. Please. Read it again. For 2013. I wish you. Enough.

“At an airport I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her plane’s departure and standing near the door, he said to his daughter, “I love you, I wish you enough.” She said, “Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy.” They kissed good-bye and she left.

He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?” “Yes, I have,” I replied.

Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing.

“Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?” I asked.

“I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral, ” he said.

“When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I ask what that means?”

He began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more. “When we said ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them,” he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory. “I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Good-bye.” He then began to sob and walked away.

For everyone who has touched my life in phenomenal ways. And to those. I’ve yet to meet. I hope you’ve had a memorable holiday. And for the years to come. I wish you enough.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan