Category: Life Lessons

Last Christmas.

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christmas 3Decorated hall at the shelter (pic could be a year old)

Last Christmas, I was fortunate enough to be in a role, where I had the entire Christmas break off. I decided to do something different. I volunteered at Caring at Christmas; a local organization, which houses about 80 homeless people from December 24th – Jan 1st, on a 24/7 basis. They have access to free food all day, manicures, haircuts, board games, pool, clothing, television, massage, dentists, doctor visits, chiropodist, the works. During the year, a smaller numbers are offered a bed, and food for the night. Rules stipulate, they must leave the next morning. Caring at Christmas is also open to others during the day. Anyone is welcomed to stop in, and help themselves to anything on offer.

During induction, we were made aware, that anyone at anytime can be homeless. Some of the people who frequent the shelter, once served in the armed services, held good jobs. You might be talking to a former engineer, teacher, civil servant etc. Chances are, we might be the only ones who bothered to sit, and have a chat with them all year. The Christmas season is the only time the majority of guests had a warm place to sleep, and food all day.

As much as I wanted to, a recent back injury prevented me from being at the shelter every day. I went as often as I could though. What an AMAZING experience! I didn’t know what to expect, but realized very shortly, how grateful I was to be able to do this. Naturally, I wanted to commit the experience, and the people whose paths crossed mine, to memory. Permit me to introduce you to a few of the people I met (names have been changed).

On my first shift, I met John. A fellow islander, he eagerly entertained me with card tricks. He told me how he had spent time in prison. His mom was suffering from terminal cancer. In a matter of fact way, he recounted the struggles he faced. I was impressed with his commitment to just keep going. I also spent time with John and Richard, who invited me to play several rounds of table tennis. John was very matter of fact in giving me hints, and tips on ball movement, paddle handling. The fact that I hadn’t played since I was a teenager? None issue.

Terry moved to Bristol a few years ago from London. He was well dressed, and well spoken. By all accounts, life was good in London. What led to the move, I didn’t know, and didn’t ask. He wasn’t interested in participating in the games, or activities. Terry was content to sit, and observe. He complained about not getting enough sleep at night. Apparently, some of the other guests stayed up all night! He had no choice though, he needed to eat.

Sandra had just moved to Britain from Spain. She was staying in a rundown hotel. One of my duties was to keep the clothes table tidy, and assists the guests with any items they needed. She had one request; a towel. Apparently, the ones at the hotel were flimsy, and not always clean. I gave her two. Wished that I could give more. The look on her face when she received the one item she asked, for will always stay with me.

Graham, he lived in a small town outside Bristol. He was nursing a broken ankle. His monthly benefit money wouldn’t come in until January. Every single day, he walked 5 hours to the shelter, because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t eat. He didn’t have money for bus fare. I struck up a quick rapport with him. Graham is tenacious. Carrying on, doing what needs to be done.

Sam was only interested in putting puzzle pieces together. We spent hours chatting over a 1000 piece. He didn’t share much about himself. So we kept to neutral, everyday topics. Time, naturally flew by. His thing was puzzles. No games, no television. Nothing. Just puzzles. And the company, of anyone who wanted to help him put them together.

Keith was a total character. A man with more than 5 City & Guilds qualifications to his name. We shared a mutual interest in pottery. Keith was the resident scrabble champion. He continually boasted about this to anyone within ear shot. One day, I put the word out, that I would challenge him. The next day, another player joined us. Come to find out, Keith had a habit of making up his own words. I came in second. I won’t forget this fellow. Keith, you’ve made an impression. May God bless you!

I could go on and on. Sometimes, I think my life is hard. The struggles, too great. I want to give up. Just like you. Then I volunteered last Christmas. I will not forget this experience, for as long as I walk the earth. I realised, I have more than I can possibly need. Before hand, I had asked some of my friends to donate unwanted clothing, and other donations. The second I place them on the table, hands came out of nowhere and swiped them away. One man’s trash is indeed another man’s treasure. Thank you to Leanne B and Sylvia K. for coming through in time, and those who promised to do so later.

I will be back this year.
Until the next post,

Juan

#lookforthegood#

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#lookforthegood#

I am not one for making New Year’s resolutions. For a host of reasons. I figured, if there are improvements to be made; I can work on them, at any given time, throughout the year. While strolling through the park on New Year’s Day, I decided that 2015, will be the year, I start looking for the good. In people, and more so, in my own life. As often as I can. Every day. There are several projects, which, true to my nature, I am juggling at once. So, I hope I can keep at this, and turn it into a lifelong habit.

I have to remind myself to look for the good in everyone, often. I recognize this will be the most challenging bit of the exercise. Generally, (except for family, friends, and work) I dont look for anything. I mean, how often do we need to? We go about our daily lives, not a thought for the other person. We interact, and move on. Let me hasten to add, my friends and family, would tell you, I don’t automatically look for the bad. However, I know; I need to do a much better job, of seeking out the positive attributes in everyone, especially, when it would be so much easier to see otherwise.

As for the things in my own life; at the end of every day, I write short notes, about the things I experienced, the people who helped, etc, and place them in a jar. The photo above is the actual one I use. I started with white for January. Eventually, I will need to get a much larger, nicer model.

With so many grim images and stories, of terrible things happening in the world, I want to find another way to escape its brutality. One that is often very difficult to accept. The past few years have been rough. I am sure it is for the next person. This exercise, will offer peace and comfort, when I look around, and find dimness.

If I am blessed to be alive next year, I will open it on Jan 1st, and be reminded of all the wonderful things, and people, which made up 2015. It’s been a wonderful exercise, thus far. I find myself looking forward to writing the notes every day. WHY didn’t I do this sooner? I had to resist the temptation, to reread the slips of paper. Even though I just added them. I am sure, at some point I will, as the lure will be too great. It’s a good problem to have, isn’t it? 🙂

I will update you on this project throughout the year. Wish me well.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

Thank You Very Much.

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thank-you-facebook-cover2014 is a year I will never forget. For a myriad of reasons. I am sure, if I sat down with each of you, we can spend hours, days even, swapping stories on the lessons we learned. When it comes to chindeepinlife however, I wanted to make this post brief, and to serve one purpose.

Thank you. For following. Commenting. Liking. Sharing. Visiting. Encouraging. Your loyalty. I write for so many reasons. One evening, a few short years ago, while I sat in my small university dormitory, I decided to start writing again. I never imagined where the journey would take me. And what a journey it has been.

Through it all, you keep returning. I know days, even months might go by, without a visit, but I find great hope in knowing the blog is here, when you need it. I will keep writing as long as I am physically able to do so.

I hope and pray the year ahead brings us every good thing. I ask the heavens for continued strength, and healing.

Once again, thank you very much. See you next year.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

A Happier You!

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LettingGoAfter one stage comes another. The incredibly good thing changes, is the fact, that we are able to look at things from a different, fresher perspective.  One thing I learned this year is the power of positive thinking. Times are hard as it is. Anything which takes the pressures off, even for a short time, I try my best to hold onto it, and revisit often.

I have the Learnist app. Subscribers get daily updates of everything from helpful hints, news stories, reading material, and how to’s. Carmen Sakurai offers some rather simple, yet powerful advice on how to be happier. I hope you find it helpful. Take what you want, and leave the rest.

Over the next several months, I will use a few of the ideas below for future posts.

Let Go of Worrying about What Others Think of You. You see your world through eyes of your own personal life experiences and interpretation… and so does everyone else. It’s important to understand that when someone has an opinion of you or your life, it doesn’t make it a fact. You don’t need anyone’s permission to set your worth.

Let Go of Making Superficial Judgements. Just as you shouldn’t worry about what others think of you, it’s important that you avoid judging others and their life choices. The only life you get to live and are responsible for is your own, so leave others to live their own lives full-out.

Let Go of Anger or Resentment. Don’t punish yourself for poor choices made by something outside yourself. Process any negative thoughts and feelings quickly, then free yourself from the damaging energy by forgiving and letting go.

 Let Go of Making Excuses. If you have a goal, you must do whatever it takes to achieve it. Otherwise, you’re doing nothing but throwing empty wishes up in the air. Remember, while outside forces may temporarily block your path, you have the power to take responsibility for the attitude you choose in situations which you have no control over.

Let Go of Setting Perfection as a Goal. By obsessing over perfection, you become so consumed in finding imperfections to fix that in the end you will have nothing to show for except unfinished, imperfect work. Practice progress over perfection instead, by making constant improvements to live a life of accomplishments.

Let Go of Waiting for the Perfect Time.“Stop waiting for the perfect day or moment….take THIS day, THIS moment and lead it to perfection.” – Dr. Steve Maraboli. Time won’t stop and wait for you to take action, so it’s up to you to either move forward and create a positive momentum… or sit and wait. So why would you want to sit in a puddle of stagnation when you can invest your energy into your happiness and success!

Let Go of the Need to Always Feel Comfortable. “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” ~ Neale Donald Walsch. Avoid setting limits to what you can achieve in your life by remaining in your personal comfort zone, because when you break out of it is when you grow the most. Look at it this way, if a single seed that’s fallen under a side walk can find a way to break through to bloom under the sun, so can you!

Let Go of Your Past Mistakes. The past has already happened and that moment no longer exist. Your past does not define you or limit what is possible for you to achieve from this moment on. If you suffered in the past, recognize that you are here today, and you are OK.

Let Go of Insecurity. You were born perfect as YOU can be with everything you need to live a successful and fulfilling life. That means you can relax and stop comparing yourself to others or setting your standards based on someone else’s expectations.

Let Go of Excessive Worrying. “Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn’t happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.” Worrying about something that may or may not happen won’t change anything – and you miss out on the opportunity to make the present great.

Let Go of Negative Influences. No matter how positive you are, if you constantly surround yourself with people who always complain, procrastinate, and make excuses, there’s a strong chance you will begin to absorb their toxic energy. Make it a point to surround yourself with positive and proactive people who will lift your spirit and inspire you.

Let Go of Trying to Change Others. Just as you were born as uniquely perfect as you could be, the same goes for everyone else. No one is obligated to change their attitude, thoughts, or actions just to make you feel more comfortable or secure. Appreciate the differences… they’re what makes this world so interesting!

Let go of One-Sided Relationships. This is when one person is fully committed while the other is not. We want to believe that if we give someone all of our love and invest enough attention and effort for both people involved, we will be able to “convince” them to love us back. Listen, you are an incredible individual deserving all the love, security, respect, and happiness that a healthy relationship can offer.

Let Go of the Attachment to Money. Being financially secure certainly can help open opportunities, relieve stress, and offer some piece of mind. But all the money in the world cannot make you happy if you are unable to feel happiness from within. Instead of measuring your success by how much money you have, define it with happiness, inner peace, and the positive contributions you can make in this world!

Let Go of Wishing Life Was Fair. Sure, there are people who have advantages in certain areas of their lives, but know that you also have advantages over other people in different areas of your life as well. Just because something that’s worked for someone else didn’t work for you, it doesn’t mean you’re less than or incompetent.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

 

The Train

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train_17_edited1

A friend, very dear to my heart, forwarded me this sweet, beautiful caveat of inspiration recently. I had to post it on my blog. Thank you Anne. Love you dearly!

At birth we boarded the train and met our parents, and we believe they will always travel on our side. However, at some station our parents will step down from the train, leaving us on this journey alone. As time goes by, other people will board the train; and they will be significant i.e. our siblings, friends, children, and even the love of your life. Many will step down and leave a permanent vacuum.

Others will go so unnoticed that we don’t realize they vacated their seats. This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, goodbyes, and farewells. Success consists of having a good relationship with all passengers requiring that we give the best of ourselves.

The mystery to everyone is: We do not know at which station we ourselves will step down. So, we must live in the best way, love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are. It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to step down and leave our seat empty we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train of life.

I wish you a joyful journey on the train of life. Reap success and give lots of love. More importantly, thank God for the journey.

Lastly, I thank you for being one of the passengers on my train.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

 

RFL. Done and Dusted.

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rflpThe day dawned bright, clear, sunny, and promising. Saturday July 5th, 2014. A month ago today. I competed in my first event. I decided to take part in the Race for Life Pretty Muddy Bristol 5K. A yearly national fundraising event. Organised by Cancer Research UK, to fund research, and hopefully, one day, find a cure for more than 200 types of cancer. Find more information here.

I looked forward to this event for months. My intention was to honour the memory of my beloved cousins, Frederick Williams and Elroy Morris. Young men, both in their 20’s, who died within 2 years of each other. Frederick, died from the ravages of lymphatic cancer, and Elroy, who succumbed to liver cancer in March this year.

I didn’t train as much as I wanted. Or should. Undeterred, I decided to run, jog, walk, or crawl. Whatever it took. To cross the finished line. I hoped. Wherever they were. They were smiling. Cheering me on. Proud of my efforts. As I write this, I’m struggling to keep tears at bay. Freddy and Elroy, hope you’re both resting in peace.

I arrived at the event with time to kill. An hour or so later, the entire group of 250+ women strong, started chanting. The atmosphere was electrifying. Next, it was time for the pre race drills. In no time, we were off. The first obstacle slowed me down; we waded through a rubber through, filled with muddy water. The obstacle course got more difficult. However, I somehow made it through every one; including the climbing frame, tyre hop, cargo net, and of course the mud pit.

Organisers left the muddiest, wettest, and slickest obstacle for the end. Using ropes I climbed to the top of a massive plastic mud splattered hut. I sat for a minute or two, closed my eyes, and slid down into 5ft of pure mud, water, and filth. Waiting at the bottom, and on either side, were two men. Massive shovels in hand, heaping filthy water onto competitors. As we struggled to crawl out of the pit. Good Ole fun!

One of the sweetest memory of the event, were the sounds of people cheering me on, as I headed towards the finish line. Complete strangers shouting: “Well done number 8!” Keep going number 8!” What a feeling. Indescribable. Amazing. Thrilling. I completed the event in 35 mins.

The only thing I would change, is working harder to reach my fundraising goal. I managed to raise £65. I am not good at asking people to give. Come next year, and the year after. I will do better. I plan on competing in this event, for as long as I can.

I am so very grateful I was blessed with the opportunity to do this. Humbled, I was able to honour the memory, and life of my two cousins. Race for Life Cancer Research UK. See you next year.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

More Than Enough.

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A few months ago, I made a resolve to watch this video at least once every day. Hasn’t happened. Life gets in the way. I have committed to do better. The message is for women. However, there is a similar video for the men in our lives. I have shared it a few times, and feel the need to do so now. Don’t know why. But I am sure, someone needs to hear it.

I want  everyone, within the reach of this blog, to know you are enough. More than enough. I want you to stop listening to the voices, and people, who tell you otherwise. If you chose to let your mistakes define you, you’re wasting time. A valuable and precious commodity, you will never get back. Let them go. Rise above them. I know this is tremendously difficult. A daily struggle for many of us. We cant un do the past. However, when it calls, let it go to voicemail, as it has nothing new to say!

You are never too much. In any area of your life. YOU ARE ENOUGH. Always. You are worth more than you realise. The people who truly care and love you, will do so, no matter what mistakes you make. They will recognise you’ve walked a different and difficult path. They will know, like them, your life has had its struggles. Hang in there.

I can’t begin to explain, the strength this video gives me. Every time I watch it, I feel empowered. Renewed, and supported. I hope you do too.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

 

 

Till We Meet….

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2532988Mere days ago (19.03.14) we lost our beloved cousin Elroy Cornelius Morris. Elroy was in the second year of his theology studies at Bethel Bible College in Jamaica. My sister’s Alma Mater. He was excelling academically. A  favourite among his peers. Deeply loved by those who knew him. Everyone was in a state of shock. Still is. Many were praying for his return. Pleading with God for a miracle. For him to be a modern day Lazarus.

Elroy’s death affected me. And of course, more so, his immediate family. I still remember his first day home from the hospital. In the months and years to follow, I baby sat and fed him, changed his diaper, watched him grow up. In Christmas of 2010, I made my first visit back home in many years.  Totally delighted to see how he had blossomed into such a great young man. My cousin’s firstborn.

I had a chance to speak to his mom the day after his passing. Captivated as I  listened to her recount his final moments on earth. We laughed and cried, as we reminisced about his childhood. I can’t fathom her pain. Although devastated, she kept repeating she was comforted by the fact, he died in Christ. His life was an example to everyone. We spoke of his last moments, and I felt as if I was a bystander, as she described the events to me.

Death reminds us of our own mortality. The preciousness of life. And things we need to do. Today, I came across a quote from the Happier Face book group, in simple, beautiful words: “Life is short. Collect experiences”.  Indeed, we are too busy collecting other things. Better jobs. More money. Nice houses. Expensive Clothes. Fake friends. Things we cannot take with us. Things that no longer matter to my sweet and precious cousin. Never did. If I am honest.

On March 20th, I posted these words on his Facebook page : RIP cousin. Having a terrible time grasping the fact you’re no longer with us. Just spoke with your mom. Learned of your final moments. So many have been touched by you, and your example. You are free from all pain and suffering. The work God has for you couldn’t be done by anyone else. Rest safe in his arms. Till we meet again.

No one dies in vain. There is always a lesson behind losing someone so young. With so much more to offer. I love you. Will miss your spirit. Wont ever forget your influence. Thank you for the time you spent with us. The memories we collected. The hearts you touched.Till we meet again. Rest in Peace.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

The Now.

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how-to-live-in-the-moment-plitvice-waterfallWe live in a fascinating age. Have access to unprecedented methods of technology. So, its incomprehensible to watch reports indicating Boeing 777- 200 ER, carrying 200+ passengers and crew, has vanished. Literally. On March 8th, Malaysian Airlines Flight MH370 departed from Malaysia bound for China. However, shortly after take-off, air traffic controllers lost contact with the jet. It’s been more than 48hrs and counting. The barrage of conspiracy theories is in full swing.

For history purposes, read the story here. I won’t dwell on this too much. Too disturbing. I’m not a good flyer. Between take off, and cruising, I am a bundle of nerves. So, I can’t begin to imagine the pain of family members and loved ones. Not knowing. Waiting. Hoping. Praying. But as time goes on. You begin to lose hope.

Once again, I’m reminded, not to procrastinate. It’s incredibly easy, but counterproductive to look back on mistakes. Spend time berating yourself, with the what if’s. Recently, I have made my fair share. However, I am painfully aware the past has nothing new to say. Does it? In the face of incredible difficulties, it’s even harder to press on. Oh, you can get lost in the judgements being meted out. But, we have to move on. Enjoy life. Even with the knowledge we might have to learn the same lessons. Time and again. Until we get it.

Today, I intend to live. Grab the moments. As Gandhi once said: “Live as if you were to die tomorrow, learn as if you were to live forever”. I reaffirm my commitment to do just that. Because tomorrow. Is not promised to anyone.  I tend to worry. A lot . Perhaps a bit too much. My younger sister recently told me: “You’re worried about something that is so far away. Live in the NOW”. Thank you Hannah.

Today, right now. In light of everything that’s happening around us. I hope we realise what a blessing it is to be alive. To be here at this time. Live. Love. Laugh. Forgive. Move on. Be happy.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

It’s Been Three Years!

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keep-calm-coz-its-my-birthday-3-years-today-2I vividly remember how it started. Sat in my dorm at Essex uni. Reviewing the day’s lecture notes. Inspiration struck. And here I am. Blogging three years on. So much has happened. Still happening.

This post is simple. Brief. And to the point. Thank you! My supporters. Friends. Followers. Passers-by. The curious onlookers. Whoever you may be. Thanks you for visiting. And taking time to read. I haven’t always gotten it right. Perhaps I never will. But its onwards and upwards.

Curious to see where the year takes me. Life is beautiful, isn’t it? Yes, we can whine and moan about our lot in life. Or we can just get on with it. There is great joy to be found. I hope you find yours. Soon. Because “In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you”

Amendment 28.03.2014 : my three year mark was actually yesterday! Had to double check. Whoop sees 🙂

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan